Disappointed

One of my favorite comedy bits is from “A Fish Called Wanda” (which is full of greatness, by the way).  Looking into the empty safe where the loot is supposed to be, Otto (played by Kevin Klein) says, “Disappointed!”  To refresh your memory, here’s The Best of Otto – the bit I’m talking about is in the first thirty seconds.*

My mom, who is still in the Geriatric-Psychiatric unit at Tuality Forest Grove Hospital, has not been taking her medication.  Well, she will, then she won’t.  She continues to exhibit many signs of mania.  She has barricaded herself in her room, wandered around wearing only her bra, and has been ordering the other patients around like a third grade teacher (which she used to be).

Here’s where the legal meets the medical.  When my mom first went to the hospital, it was on a voluntary basis.  This means she can walk out whenever she wants to.  Last Thursday (after one week in the hospital) she started refusing meds, and she slapped a nurse.  So they put her “on a hold” (you may know California’s shorthand for this, which is 5150).   This is a legal designation meaning that ‘she is a danger to herself or others’ and an investigator from the county decides whether that is true or not.

The investigator called me on Monday.  I answered the questions.  Is she a danger to others? Well, not really.  She is not going to be released from the hospital and continue to have a vendetta against the med nurse she slapped.  In fact, she may not even be able to pick that med nurse out of a line-up.

Is she a danger to herself?  Is she suicidal?

Well, I said, if you know anything about this disease you know that that question doesn’t exactly apply here.  Is she a danger to herself?  Yes, she is, because she is manic.  During a previous manic episode, she got in the car and decided she was going to drive from Oregon to southern California to visit me.  She was found by the paramedics wandering the streets of Sacramento at 2:00 am.  She had cut off all her hair and lost her teeth.  (There is something universal about the human face with no teeth that just screams “I am a homeless bum.”)

Is she suicidal? Is she pointing a gun to her head?  No.  Does she believe she can fly off a bridge?  Well, not yet, but mania can go there (she once told me she could fly across the room).  Is she a danger to herself during a manic episode?  Absolutely.  Does she meet the strict criteria that Washington County wants to apply in this instance?  No.

The hold was taken off, but I could tell in the investigator’s tone of voice that she agreed with my line of thinking.  Especially after she visited my mom in the hospital.  My mom had just gone to lie down for a nap.  She hasn’t been sleeping well (sign of mania) so she has made it clear to everyone that she is not to be disturbed if she is lying down.  She even had the doctor put it in the doctor’s orders.  So the investigator gets there and wakes up my mom.  The hospital wants her to sign herself back in on a voluntary basis, but she’s very upset that she’s been disturbed; she’s confused.  She calls me in tears and says, “They’re trying to railroad me.”

Then yesterday my mom’s physician called to say that if she doesn’t take her meds, and if she insists on leaving, they will release her.  So I immediately called my mom and busted out with “You have to take your medicine and stay where you are.  I will see you later this week.”  My mom took her meds right there on the phone with me (thanks to Nicole, who happened to hear my mom say she would take the meds and was right there at the ready).  Apparently, she took her meds last night and this morning as well.

So am I disappointed?  Right this sec, no.  Disappointed comes from two weeks in the hospital and negligible improvement.  Disappointed comes from seeing how completely stubborn my mom is—partly because of the disease, and partly because she just is.

Here’s what she needs but does not want to take: Geodon.  Bipolar disorder is such a painful, debilitating chronic disease.  It is so hard to watch my mother suffer.  Take the meds, mom.  I know you don’t want to feel like you’ve been drugged, but if you don’t take the Geodon, your climb down from mania will be much slower.  Not to mention that you might get released from the hospital, and you are not ready to go home yet.

What is a post without a photograph?  A post needing a photograph.

Near Las Vegas, Nevada.  Photo by The Scout.  The Scout is still in Arkansas with his mom.  It’s become clear that she will not be able to live on her own without assistance.  There are no family members in the area…so for now The Scout is there, trying to figure out what do to…

*A shout out to Suebob, who, like Otto, does not like to be called stupid!

Advertisements

Tags: , ,

6 Responses to “Disappointed”

  1. Ann Erdman Says:

    I’m so sorrry you’re going through this. I hope you have a strong network of supportive friends, family and professionals around you.

  2. Miss Havisham Says:

    Jeez! When it rains it pours.

    The nurse slapped my dad, but that’s a whole different thing.

    I do feel for you both and all.

  3. altadenahiker Says:

    Wow. So a daughter is supposed to handle all this by herself. How, I wonder.

  4. Cafe Observer Says:

    K, if I were in your position I would look for alternative treatments. OR & WA states are known for it. Alas, I doubt the psych establishment has the cure or solution to this problem.

    The good news is i believe there is an answer to this. Someone/Somewhere has experienced this and come out victorious. But, it’s probably gonna be by taking the road less traveled.

  5. Petrea Says:

    Wow. The raining/pouring thing.

    I have siblings, but when my mother was going through her decline I felt alone with it because I’m the one who lives the closest and I’m the one she called. They say that which doesn’t kill us will make us stronger, but that’s true only if we’re sane. It does sound like she shouldn’t be at home, with you or without you.

    Miss H., you made me laugh. Good!

  6. V-Grrrl Says:

    Thanks for coming by my blog and leaving a comment. My first visit here. Wow, so much going on in your life–the Big Stuff. I’m sorry for your sorrow and your struggles and the hard place your mother inhabits.

    I don’t know if you’re familiar with author/writer/blogger Kate McLaughlin. She’s in her late 40s, has two bipolar children in their 20s. She’s a mental health educator and advocate and a good soul.

    Wishing you peace…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: