I paid the plumber even though he showed up wearing a USC sweatshirt. Apparently the pipe from the house to the main sewer line is made of clay, and the roots of the bushes out front think clay is nifty. So the roots move into the clay pipe, which impairs our movements from moving anywhere. The plumber says we should pour pool acid down the toilet to teach the roots a lesson. This sounds like an environmental no-no to me, but the alternative is to keep paying the plumber. Or rip out the old clay pipe and put in a plastic one.
My plumber is quite a guy. Seriously, does your plumber tell you fecal matter stories from his other jobs? I’ll never be able to look into the eyes of any Team Chevrolet employee without wondering which one of them shat the big one.
West Coast Grrlie Blather 
I am dying over here, of laughter.